It has come to our attention that some of you are wondering if there is a United States Congress.
“Why,” some of you are asking, “Should we believe in you when you don’t bring us any presents?”
And some of you are wondering if we really exist when children just like you go hungry at night, are sick and can’t see a doctor, and are being shot by deranged people.
Please, dear children, be patient. Some day, you will understand how difficult these things are. We need to talk everything over with our donors and sponsors, and look at public opinion polls, and all that. Our parents did and you will too when some of you become politicians just like us.
And then, we need to agree with each other before we can do anything. You know how that is, when you go to the playground and kids start quarreling about their toys and throwing sand at each other. Please believe us, it isn’t easy to play nice even as we are going over a cliff. The other guy is going down with us too, so there!
Although we aren’t giving you much this year, we want you to know that we’ll always be there for you and will always be thinking of you and sending you mail, especially after you turn 18.
Your adults in the US Congress